Sex, Sex, Sex (and More Sex) in YA || A Conversation, More or Less

I’ll begin with this: hey babes, I’m Jackie. This past June I graduated high school. And talking about sex (sex, sex, sex) is one of my favorite things to do. So whether you want to tweet me, email me, or leave a comment on this post, I’m all ears!

Use the hashtag #UndertheCoversYA to comment on twitter! 

I don’t know about y’all, but chapter 55 (yup, y’all, the chapter I tweeted out with no explanation a little while ago on Twitter) of S.J. Maas’s novel “A Court of Mist and Fury” had me all hot and bothered. I mean, for me, cabins and paint will never be the same.

And for those of you wondering, no, I have no qualms when it comes to talking about sex. Just ask my classmates who got the GOOD SEX STARTS WITH CONSENT talk, and the PERSONAL PLEASURE IS IMPORTANT PLEASURE talk, or the THERE ARE SO MANY KINDS OF CONTROCEPTIVES, HOW COOL IS THIS? talk. 

Chapter 55 has one of the more graphic scenes of sex in young adult (sex in YA?! LE GASP!) that I think I’ve ever come across. It’s all over the blogosphere, and on tote bags, and dang if it isn’t one of the sweetest, angsty can’t-get-the-clothes-off-fast-enough scenes. Much of young adult books like the whole fade-to-black when the people (or not people) are about to get all hot and heavy.

Let me just be blunt here: I think having visual sex scenes in young adult novels is something that is insanely important, and I think that while fade-to-black scenes are occasionally fine, it doesn’t tell the whole story. The fact is that teens have sex. 

I know- shocking. 

We’ve got a bit of a hush-hush, under the covers, societal convention when it comes to what sex really is, don’t we? I live in Texas, and we didn't have a sex-ed class. And the state runs on an abstinence is the best policy, policy. Because apparently if we don't talk about or acknowledge sex, it doesn't happen. Because that is SUPER logical. (I can't tell you the depths of frustration this causes me) 

So let me ask you a question, lovely: Is sex what two people who love each other a whole lot want to have a baby? (Obviously, occasionally, hell yes. Obviously, occasionally, hell no.) That is the old school explanation of it. Now days people are a bit more out and open about pleasure and sexualities. Since the world is slowly coming to terms with the fact that sex is actually happening with young people, maybe our literature should reflect that. (did you know that the average male has sex for the first time around 16, and female around 17. Obviously with that statistic we need to consider that there are both going to be some younger, and much, much older with their firsts. ‘Tiz the way averages work.)

Isn't 16 and 17 high school aged, babe? Don't you think that means that there may be sooooome importance with sex being scene in the novels high school students read? Here’s what I think sex in YA is able to teach that people simply aren’t as comfortable saying out-loud:

Graphic sex scenes in young adult allows for curiosity. Every person isn’t made the same, so of course not everyone is going to find pleasure from the same things. Let’s take the paint scene in A Court of Mist and Fury. Did you know that there’s this company called Love is Art? It sells non-toxic paint, and giant strips of canvas, and soap. Obviously there is a sector of society that finds the idea of making art with your body exciting. In ACOMAF, the paint was accidental, but it didn’t get in the way of showing that sex could be fun. Nope. Instead it freaking highlighted it. That being said, there’s different boats for different folks. And while I though (and, I’m sure, many of y’all thought) that the whole paint thing was hot as hell, not everyone will. I know—shocking. That goes with sexuality.

It’s able to teach that consent is BEYOND FREAKING IMPORTANT. It tells you that the the down and dirty needs to be met with a sure-as-heck yes. The consequences of that rule being broken can’t be properly put into words because the depth of the emotional trauma. So consent is important, and I think it is SO IMPORTANT to see so many different depictions of the aftermath for those who face the horror of when consent is not given.

It teaches that sex isn’t this shameful thing, and that it’s okay if you know what’s going on. It’s also okay if you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. And if you don’t know what the hell you’re doing, to talk with the person your having sex with. That letting them know what feels good, what doesn’t feel good is all part of the game. Sex isn't (usually) what you see in porn, and can be fumbling hands and weird noises and Thing Not Going As Planned.

Having sex in young adult book teaches the emotional response to slang like slut and prude. Both, besides just being rude, have this negative connotation that should never ever be associative with how sexually active any human is. I mean first off,--none of your freaking business. And two, why does it matter what that person does? Like, really?

BUT MY POINT IS THAT SEX IN YOUNG ADULT NOVELS OPENS THE COVERSATION TO KINKS AND PLEASURE AND CONSENT. IT NORMALIZES IT ALL. AND, HONESTLY Y’ALL, I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME.

And I know some of you are going to say, well, Jackie, it seems you like sex convos, but does it really have to be in YA? I mean, young people read young adult fiction.

My answer to that is yes, yes it does. Thank you for asking. That’s actually my point: young people reading young adult fiction. Here’s why I think so. Sex obviously isn’t a part of every book; in YA it’s obviously going to be less than in New Adult (like a whole freaking lot less) and less than in Adult.

The fact of life is that sex happens. The more you know about it, the more easily you can have a conversation about it, the safer you are going to be when you have sex. If you want to have sex, I believe you should be able to obtain condoms or some form of contraceptives without feeling shame. If you want to have an open conversation about sex, if you are curious about it, then you should feel comfortable with asking questions. And you should be open to the answers that you receive.

What are your opinions, lovely?

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Okay, babes; below are some books in YA that have sex. Thank you SO SO SO MUCH to the twitter community for letting me know all the non- fade to black sex scenes. Y'all were are SO incredibly helpful. 

It looks like I've got some reading to do!

Sex in YA Books that I’ve Read

The ACOTAR series by S.J. Maas

The Shatter Me series by Tahereh Mafi

Books (she has a bunch of books, but more specifically DareYou To) by Katie McGarry

Stir Me Up by Sabrina Elkins

Under the Never Sky by Veronica Rossi

Throne of Glass series by S.J. Maas (look at you girl, slaying the game!)

The Anatomical Shape of a Heart by Jenn Bennett

The Summer of Chasing Mermaid by Sarah Ockler 

Sex in YA Books that I’ve Not Yet Read

Forever by Judy Blume

The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth

Three Truths and a Lie by Brent Hartinger

Under the Lights by Dahlia Adler

The Girl Who Fell by Shannon M. Parker

Defending Taylor by Miranda Kenneally (according to reputable sources, her books are super sex positive and consent centric in terms of sex. let's give the good lady a round of applause!)

I’ll Meet You There by Heather Demetrios

Alex, Approximately by Jenn Bennett

The Queen of Tearling series by Erika Johansen

Firsts by Laurie Elizabeth Flynn
Carrie Mesrobian: Sex & Violence, Cut Both Ways, Perfectly Good White Boy
About a Girl by Sarah McCarry
Lux series by Jennifer L. Armentrout
Radical by EM Kokie

If you've got more non-subtle sex in YA scenes, leave a comment or tweet it (@ nobentspines) to me and I'll add it. If you see one on the list you're like "Jackie, that's a total fade-to-black, what are you doing?" let me know that too!