Fall 2018 Changes

Now, I would just like to start that I live a life of privilege that not many in this world can afford. It is because of this that this little metamorphosis thing was possible. Now, let’s move on with the story.

I can with a completely honest heart recommend that you never get mono. That feeling of complete, debilitating exhaustion along with the nasty chills, nausea and swelling lymph nodes was the worst sickness I have ever endured. The week that I was at my worse, I was in Houston.

I has just moved into my apartment for the Fall 2018 semester and I was READY. Sadly, my body was not. That week I regularly called my mom sobbing about how tired I was. That week, I lost nearly seven pounds. And when that week was over, my grandparents made the 4 hour trip to come get me from campus. I had withdrawn from the semester.

I’ll leave out the I was sick (blah, blah, blah) and go to when I started to not feel like the grim reaper sat at my doorstep.

I realized something (you know, it’s amazing how much time you have to think when you have literally nothing else to do) about myself. I never take a break, I’m always moving because if I’m not I think too much. I don’t mean like make a big discovery think. It’s more like wow existential crisis on the daily.

Being with my family and just resting let me take a step back and really wonder what I was doing with my life- in a healthy way. It wasn’t “Jesus I’m going to die without doing any of the things I want” or “Oh my goodness who is going to hire me” or ever the usual “I’m so going to fail this class.”

Being able to think about what I wanted after getting my undergraduate- and even where I was going to get my undergraduate- was liberating. Where do I want to work? To live? What do I actually want out of life? What are the tools I have to work with?

In the short, paid sabbaticals need to be a thing that’s mandated everywhere. For those like me who overthink and obsess and can’t turn their brain off, this is something that could work to alleviate stress and increase productivity.

What about you? Tell me what you think about taking a step back. Hell, tell me about your dreams, love. Don’t forget to subscribe.

Pictures via Unsplash