Saturday, July 27, 2013

If You Stay (review)

ebook, 220 pages
Published February 5th 2013 by Lakehouse Press 
Source: Gifted by Kelly @ InkSlingerPR


24-year old Pax Tate is an asshole.

He’s a tattooed, rock-hard bad-boy with a bad attitude to match.

But he’s got his reasons.

His mother died when Pax was seven, leaving a hole in his heart filled with guilt although he doesn’t understand why. What he does know is that he and his dad are left alone and with more issues than they can count.

As Pax grew up, he tried to be the kid his father always wanted; the perfect golden boy, but it didn’t work. His dad couldn’t overcome his grief long enough to notice and Pax couldn’t keep up the impossible perfect fa├žade.
So he slipped far, far from it.

Now, he uses drugs and women to cope with the ugliness, the black void that he doesn’t want to deal with. If he pretends that the emptiness isn’t there, then it isn’t, right?

And it’s never more apparent than when he meets Mila.
Sweet, beautiful Mila Hill is the fresh air to his hardened frown, the beauty to his ugly heart. He doesn’t know how to not hurt her, but he quickly realizes that he’s got to figure it out because he needs her to breathe.

When memories of his mother’s death resurface from where he’s repressed them for so long, Mila is there to catch him when the guilt starts making sense. Mila is the one…the one who can save him from his broken troubled heart; from his issues, from the emptiness.

But only if he can stop being an asshole long enough to allow it.

He knows that. And he’s working on it.

But is that enough to make her stay?

I. Love. This. Book. Merp.

Pax is messed up in more ways I can name: he uses drugs and girls to get away from his daddy problems and his moms death. Mila is so innocent that I (almost) can't handle it. But, for them it works. It adorable and heavy and sweet and so totally no perfect. At all. But it's beautiful. Except for a bit of her childhood...

What do I love more than anything about this book? Pax wasn't good. Oh, he was far from it. But when he met Mila, he wanted to be good. He wasn't like 'Oh, I'll never be good. I'm forever screwed up with my crappy past to blame. Might as well not even try. No. He was blunt with her. He said he'd try. No promises except that he'd try. He'd try to make himself better for her. (can I get an aw) 

He messes up though. You gather that from the summary. But he's trying

I love this book. They fall in love hard and fast. Not insta love, mind you that. But it was love. LOVE I TELL YOU. 

It was falling in love over painting and walks home. It was falling in love over secrets and healing and being themselves. It was falling in love with the ocean and the sunset. It was falling in love with Italian food and each other. *sigh* I just love love. There's a chance I may be a hopeless romantic. 

This book. I really don't know what to say about it. It was about love and healing and love and love and healing and UGH. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. 

Just read it. 



  1. I wasn't sure if I wanted to check this one out as I'm kind of taking a break from NA but I'll keep it in mind for when I'm in the mood :)

    -Mari @ The Sirenic Codex

    1. Whenever you're in the mood for NA again you should definetly check this out! It's amazing (:
      Thanks for stopping by!